A zoo is not just for animals

Help came the next day in the form of my brother whom we met at the zoo. I had been going through the motions all morning - determined not to ruin our day out with my sister, her daughter, my brother, his girlfriend and my family. It was the first time we had taken our children to the zoo. It was meant to be a memorable occasion. It was, but not in the way I had hoped. At the penguins I became disoriented, there were crowds of people, I got separated from my family, I was exhausted and emotional. By the time we got to the lions I was sobbing uncontrollably.

My brother was there for me. I told him everything from A to Z that I had been going through. In return, he told me everything he had learned about panic disorder and how he had dealt with it. All the little 'life-lines' that he had made up for himself, such as not wearing a seat belt and not wanting anything around his neck. This made me feel better about my little foibles such as keeping all the windows open in my house for fear of feeling hot and having the radio always playing to ensure constant distraction. Just knowing that everything I had been through, someone else had been through before me AND HAD RECOVERED blew my theory that I was mentally ill. I learned that my symptoms were 'text book' and that there were websites on the internet where I could chat to others with my condition. I was no longer alone. My brother promised to post me 2 good books that demystified panic disorder. Our conversation lasted the rest of the zoo trip and throughout it I was able to glimpse normality. It was the first time I had felt hope in 3 months. It was my turning point to recovery.