Questions
It's been several hours now since the incident. I'm trying to make sense of it all. Words keep running through my head. Questions that need answers. I rang my mum. "What were you doing right before it started?"she asked.
That's a very good question. I had just returned from a beautiful and peaceful holiday in Normandy, France. We had had unprecedented hot weather for April, 30 plus degrees. Days were spent on the beach, having barbeques, relaxing. Minutes before the attack I had been munching on a Domino's pizza with Pepsi. I had then opened up my latest Dan Brown book to the last chapter. I was so close to finishing and finding out 'whodunnit'. Life was good. Just before curling up on the sofa with my book, I had cast a glance at our still full suitcase and thought of how I had yet to do the laundry for the school run the next morning. My feeling was one of dread. But minor dread. More of an annoyance. A chore. Then I had begun to read. Then I had begun to feel dizzy. You know the rest.
The paramedics had told me it was caused by my busy life as a mum. But that doesn't tie in with my relaxed state of mind at the time. Maybe they didn't know what they were talking about. The information they gave me was pretty vague anyway. Perhaps they had missed something. Maybe there IS something wrong with my heart. But there's another thing - they had said there will be a 'next time', '"If you feel another one coming on"' they had said.
I still don't know what happened to me today. Didn't manage to get through to my brother as his phone was switched off. I need answers. I didn't get the laundry done and it's late now, bedtime. I have to meet up with a friend in the morning for tea so I won't get it done then. In the afternoon I'm going to visit another friend in hospital because her little boy has been diagnosed with leukaemia. No time for anything else. Can't let them down. Won't let them down.
That's a very good question. I had just returned from a beautiful and peaceful holiday in Normandy, France. We had had unprecedented hot weather for April, 30 plus degrees. Days were spent on the beach, having barbeques, relaxing. Minutes before the attack I had been munching on a Domino's pizza with Pepsi. I had then opened up my latest Dan Brown book to the last chapter. I was so close to finishing and finding out 'whodunnit'. Life was good. Just before curling up on the sofa with my book, I had cast a glance at our still full suitcase and thought of how I had yet to do the laundry for the school run the next morning. My feeling was one of dread. But minor dread. More of an annoyance. A chore. Then I had begun to read. Then I had begun to feel dizzy. You know the rest.
The paramedics had told me it was caused by my busy life as a mum. But that doesn't tie in with my relaxed state of mind at the time. Maybe they didn't know what they were talking about. The information they gave me was pretty vague anyway. Perhaps they had missed something. Maybe there IS something wrong with my heart. But there's another thing - they had said there will be a 'next time', '"If you feel another one coming on"' they had said.
I still don't know what happened to me today. Didn't manage to get through to my brother as his phone was switched off. I need answers. I didn't get the laundry done and it's late now, bedtime. I have to meet up with a friend in the morning for tea so I won't get it done then. In the afternoon I'm going to visit another friend in hospital because her little boy has been diagnosed with leukaemia. No time for anything else. Can't let them down. Won't let them down.
posted by Ggirl @ 10:18 am
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